17 April, 2009

My Top Five

Being, as I am, an ardent band-wagon jumper, I recently joined in the latest craze sweeping Facebook, LivingSocial. For the uninitiated, LivingSocial is an application that allows you to pick your "top five" either selecting a topic from the list (top five films, books, etc) or creating your own, complete with illustrations. Inspired by a few femi top fives already posted there, I've basically thieved the concept and brought it here, in the guise of my Top Five Anti-Feminist (and oh, so much more) Hate Figures:

1.) Peter Hitchens, or as I like to call him, If Evil Had A Face - a Fail On Sunday columnist and popular choice among the femis. The man said, in all seriousness: "if both parties have had sexual relations before or either is of a less than chaste nature, it cannot be defined as rape." Yup, say yes to sex once and you're saying it forever, to anyone. Even people you haven't met. Flesh eating zombies are too good for him, really.

2.) Richard Littlejohn, aka Dick Littlecock - another Daily Fail writer. I don't care if he's been done to death already, the author of an article titled "Don't Give Me The People's Prostitutes Routine" in relation to brutal murders of five young women, two of whom were mothers; who routinely ridicules homosexuality; who defended the torture of Binyam Mohammed and uses the words "muslim" and "terrorist" as though they were interchangable deserves to be on every kind of hit-list going, for all eternity.

3.) Amanda Platell - you guessed it, she has a column in the Fail. So many reasons to hate her, I can't pick a clear winner, so I'm going to choose at random and go with "hijacked the death of a young woman on a skiing holiday to rant against feminism". I'm sure her parents loved opening the paper and seeing their daughter's tragic death used to push a woman-hating agenda.

4.) Pope Benedict - you all know who he is, I imagine. He doesn't write for the Hate Mail (a little variety is the key to keeping things fresh, you know) but I imagine he'd like to if he could. Condom use causes HIV and women were most liberated by the advent of washing machines, according to this man. It's like Goodbye Lenin, only he is somehow being kept in the 1950s.

5.) Kylie Minogue - ok, this one is slightly irrational, but humour me. She freaks me out, frankly. She's so small, she could be hiding anywhere and you wouldn't know. She could be behind you RIGHT NOW. On a serious - and feminist - note though, when her career stalled in the early noughties, she immediately resorted to posing half-naked in lads mags to keep her profile up, followed by prancing around on stage in not-quite-arse-covering hotpants and of course the lingerie collection, which seemed largely an excuse to release ever more posters and calendars and one horrible, horrible tv advert where she simulated sex on a rodeo bull (does anyone else remember this?) clad only in sexy undies. Yeah, it did wonders for her album sales, but at what cost the celebration of actual talent? What an icon. Not.


  1. I'm with you on Kylie, she's so teeny and startled and non sexual despite the obvious enforced 'sexy' image(I remember the rodeo bull ad).

    As for her career, I can't decide if she just hangs out with the cool kids to steal their style (I'm thinking of the 90's) or if she's just a blank canvas that the cool kids use as a little pop puppet.

    I hate puppets too, they scare me.

  2. i applaud your moderation in keeping this down to a mere top five...

  3. ooh, i see you are run by daily-mail-haiting etc... small world, i'm one of them too (or, as the fail would put it, One Of Them). please can you help spread "misogynazi" too? it's a nice easy flummox for the, er, best of them.

  4. Also, please see http://ihavenogun.blogspot.com/2009/04/facebook-says-all-women-at-your-place.html and join to get facebook to stop supporting men who think women are "scientifically" inferior... x

  5. I've recently moved to Britain from the US and was completely shocked by the Daily Mail's attitude- completely stuck in the 70s. I hope (suspect) this is not a reflection of the state of feminism in the UK in general? Please?

  6. Totally with you on all the above. I would add the horrible Katie Hopkins, empty blonde rent-a-gob from The Apprentice.

    Here's a reason to really hate Pope Benedict if you didn't already know. While he was only a young Cardinal in the 1960s he was responsible for a document called the Crimen Solicitanus (written in Latin so fewer people could understand it). The document set out the fact the Church knew full well the extent of child abuse within the Catholic Church and anybody who spoke out against it would be excommunicated. It had to be kept quiet and dealt with within the church. The church which had a vested interest in keeping it very quiet. Furthermore the crime of abusing children was seen as a sin against 'chastity' and not an abuse of power. So the then cardinal knowingly suppressed an ongoing shocking crime within the Catholic Church, and threatened anyone brave enough to speak out, with excommunication. Is this a man you would want to take moral advice from?

    Oh and I've had it on good authority that Paul Dacre, the editor of the Mail (and highest paid editor of any national newspaper) uses the 'c' word so often against his staff, they've become known as 'Paul's Vagina Monologues'.


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