Woman in "Natural State" shocker! Mo'Nique, star of movie Precious, dared to show her face at the Golden Globes knowing she had not depilated her legs, as is required of any and all women over the age of...well, birth. To add insult to injury, the brazen hussy proceeded to show off her legs, as if hairy legs weren't something she ought to be ashamed of! Men across the world recoil in horror at this hideous sight, and women are warned not to follow her example lest they be cast out of civilised society.
Woman wears tracksuit, eats takeaway! Kerry Katona, a notoriously vile human being, has been spotted both wearing a tracksuit AND, horror of horrors, purchasing and indulging in FISH AND CHIPS. Yes, you read correctly. Fish and chips. When will this waste of skin realise that she isn't permitted to choose her own clothing and certainly not what she eats? Disgusting.
In similar news, everyone's favourite washed-up pop star Britney Spears ignored a court date. But that's a mere detail: the real story here is her ill-fitting underwear! An eagle-eyed photographer, zooming in on her bust, revealed Britney's boobs to be spilling over her bra! When will these women learn that it's their duty to appear neat, pretty and well-dressed at all times?
Footballer's wife takes clothes off! It doesn't matter that nobody knows who she is. Look at her tits! Look at them!
And finally: Woman stalked and harrassed by man for years - but I'll let the comments do the talking.
You'd think he would have chosen someone prettier.But I thought we lived in a free country, he didnt threaten her, or are we now a police state where people can be barred from being in public areas at the whim of another person?
And here's a piece of advice from the ever-astute E Jawed:
What is it with some guys, they can never accept rejection. She's not even good looking, so why doesn't he get a life. He's probably lost his job, ruined his career, gone to jail and made a fool of himself for nothing. What a silly plum.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to rub my arms and legs vigorously with a cheese grater, then apply vinegar to the wounds. It'll be by far a less painful experience than reading the Fail.